It’s been a while since I’ve blogged about anything other than a wrap up and a TBR. I really had to think about why that was. What was keeping me from blogging weekly? There are plenty of tags, plenty of books to review. Sure, I’ve been working a ridiculous amount, but I still get days off. So why wasn’t I blogging? Once I thought about it and had a look across my room, it dawned on me. I hate TBR’s. I grew to hate my TBR shelf. Just looking at it pissed me off.
There are a few reasons for this revelation.
I was setting goals that seemed possible on paper, but not in practice. I said “I can totally do eight books a month, that’s just two books a week!”. Then I pressured myself to read when I was tired or not in the mood to because I was so determined to meet my goal. With working more than fifty hours a week, finding time to read a lot isn’t easy. And reading more in quantity than quality just isn’t worth it.
This limited the diversity of my reading. Putting priority on books, made me read less diversely and thus, I enjoyed them less. Books started bleeding in to one another and soon I couldn’t even recall the events of a book that I read only two or three weeks ago with any sort of detail. And if I couldn’t enjoy even think through the book, what was the point of reading it?
My TBR shelf became a glaring reminder of how I wasn’t meeting my reading goals. As mentioned before, the goals weren’t realistic. So seeing a constant reminder of my so called “failure” wasn’t helping my reading habits, it was making them worse. At one point I was just not reading even though I wanted to read.
If I’m not reading, I’m not writing. I’ve been writing since before I can remember. Making up little stories, little tales. And if I’m not constantly being inspired by other authors, then how can I develop my own style? If I’m not writing, I’m not happy. If I’m not reading, I’m not happy. It completely destroys my center and any sort of creative process that I have.
Severely limited my ability to read books “in the moment”. Sometimes you finish a book, and the next one you want to pick up is what you’re in the mood for. With a TBR of 5-8 books, this limits picking from impulse. And honestly, sometimes impulse reads are the best reads of all.
What are your thoughts on TBR’s? Let me know below.
~The Grisha Lieutenant