Top Five Wednesdays: 5 Characters You Wish You Could Drown

Top 5 Wednesday Participants

I really love this topic. There are so many characters that I just wanted to kick off the fictional cliff. They were so infuriating that sometimes it made me want to not continue a book or a series. I’ll keep things as spoiler free as I can and if I have to spoil, you’ll get a fair warning. But I’m going to try and avoid it. (I seriously hate spoilers more than anything). Anyways! Onwards!

5. Greg from Me and Earl and the Dying Girl by Jesse Andrews


This was the last thing I read, so his character’s still fresh in my mind. The whole reason I didn’t enjoy much of this book was because Greg seemed to irritate me at every turn. I understand what the author was trying to do by making him “strange” and generally weird. I think he was trying to create the “grows as a person over the span of the book” character but ended up just making a really irresponsible and selfish prick. Even in the end of the book, I did not like him one bit and really REALLY wanted to drown him.

4. Dorothy Gale from Dorothy Must Die by Danielle Page


I hate Dorothy because she was written to be an annoying brat who ruins everything. Throughout the book I was actually rooting for Amy to succeed in her mission to kill Dorothy. Dorothy emphasized everything I hate about royal villains. Outlawing magic (which is the coolest element to any story), throwing ridiculous extravagant parties and forcing everyone in her kingdom to wear a “permasmile”. If there’s anything in this world I hate, it’s when people tell you to smile when you don’t want to. Therefore, yes, DOROTHY MUST DIE. (Oh yes..I’m so clever.)

3. Sebastian from The Mortal Instruments Series


I can’t go in to great detail about why I hate Sebastian because spoilers. If you’ve read the Mortal Instruments series, you know. Sebastian is the most evil, disgusting little cockroach in that entire series. I hate him more than I hated Valentine Morgenstern. Again, if you’ve read the Mortal Instruments, you’ll understand. If not, go read them. They’re amazing.

2. Dolores Umbridge from The Harry Potter Series 


Alright, this I will spoil. So if you haven’t read Harry Potter, take a step back and look at your life choices. Then go read them all. Then you can read this small section of review that you will eventually forget about anyways. But I’m going to spoil. I hate Umbridge more than anyone in the entire series of Harry Potter. Umbridge was the most loathsome witch I’ve ever seen in any book that involved witches and wizards. She proves that you should never trust anyone that wears that much pink. EVER. When she nearly used the cruciatus curse on Harry, I lost my shit. What kind of little shit would use a torture curse on a child? WHO? She would. She’d also unfairly examine a witch about being a witch, sentances several people to horrible things for crimes they didn’t commit, blindly follow a regime knowingly infiltrated by the most evil wizard who ever lived and basically ruin everyone’s lives that she comes in contact with. I also have a theory that she may have actually loved Fudge, that’s why she followed him so closely and essentially begged for the slightest bit of affection from him.

ALRIGHT! Number One.

1. Blackjack Randall from The Outlander Series 


(POSSIBLE SLIGHT SPOILERS) I thought after reading the Harry Potter series, no one would infuriate me like Umbridge. But no. Then here comes Blackjack Randall sauntering in like some entitled twat trying to rape someone within the first few minutes of meeting them for no good reason. Not only that, but after all of that he pursues her over and over again for no justifiable reason other than he has a hard on for her and the male lead Jamie Fraser.

First, he relentlessly questions Clare over and over again to no avail. Then he does this big long speech about being an English gentleman among savage Scotsman. Then what does he do? He starts punching and kicking her. She gets away for a while, then what does he do? Tries to kill her and rape her. Jamie saves Clare. -Insert more story- Jamie gets captured and taken to be executed, Clare tries to save him, Blackjack catches Clare trying to rescue Jamie. In exchange for his wife’s life, Jamie has to submit to Blackjack. Blackjack brands him, rapes him repeatedly, smashes Jamie’s hand and drives a stake through it and then tries to humanize himself to Jamie. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. I HOPE YOU DROWN. I HOPE CLARE DROWNS YOU. DIE.

Comment below if you agree/disagree.


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